In the process of aging, many seniors will eventually need some level of care and assistance with their activities of daily living (ADLs), yet they will find it quite difficult to even ask for help. They admitting they have the need for help or even accepting any kind of assistance is not easy for people as they age. The very reason that people take pride in their independence and privacy, and at the same time they do not want to burden their family and friends with their needs.

Yet the responsibility truly falls on the senior’s family members and friends not only to recognize the signs that their aging loved one might need support with completing tasks and activities of daily living, but to assist them every step of the way.

If you are concerned that a loved one may be struggling unnecessarily, it is far better to be proactive in making decisions for their safety, future and ultimately to ease into a transition of assisted living and better quality of life.

The following is a list of changes and concerns that family members and friends can use to quickly assess a loved one’s condition, identify areas of difficulty a loved one is experiencing, and together make important decisions for a safe and fulfilling future:

Changes in Physical Function and Mental Status

• Difficulty staying on task
• Not being able to keep track of time
• Sleeping/Napping for most of the day
• Having a poor diet or noticing significant weight loss
• Withdrawing, a loss of interest in hobbies and activities
• Decline in social ability
• Does not communicate with others
• Decline in vision and cognitive skills
• Changes in emotions or extreme mood swings
• Trouble with transferring and getting up from a seated position
• Difficulty with gait….walking, balance and mobility
• Unidentified and unexplained bruising or injuries
• Noticing unusual spots or wear on walls, door jams, furniture and other household items being used to assist them with stability while walking and navigating through the home
• Identifying that there is now uncertainty and confusion when performing once-familiar tasks
• Extreme forgetfulness
• Medication management – forgetting to take medications or taking incorrect dosages
• Missing important functions and appointments – such as doctor visits
• Consistent use of poor judgment and behavior – such as:  falling for scams or sales pitches, giving away money, bill paying, etc.

Changes in Personal Hygiene

• Having unpleasant body odor
• Infrequent showeringor bathing
• Strong smell of urine in the home or on their clothing
• Noticeable decline of ADLs specific to grooming habits and personal care such as: unkempt hair, untrimmed nails (fingers and toes), lack of dental and oral care, wearing dirty or stained clothing, etc.

Neglect of Household Responsibilities

• Having little or no fresh, healthy food in the fridge and cupboards/pantry
• Outdated and spoiled food that doesn’t get thrown away
• Keeping a dirty house and/or extreme clutter – hoarding
• Dirty laundry piling up
• Everyday items such as keys, wallets, and cell phones found in odd places (fridge)
• Noticing stains or wet spots on furniture or carpets
• Accumulation of unopened mail or an overflowing mailbox
• Having late payment notices, bounced checks and calls from companies and bill collectors
• Electric, water, and cable being turned off due to missed payments
• Unexplained dents and scratches on their car

If any of the above perks your concern with your loved one, even if it’s only a few issues, it is the appropriate time to take a proactive role in their future life. Trust your intuition…you are definitely at the threshold of making smart and safe changes for your loved one. Start by having a gentle conversation and sharing your concerns with your loved one in an empathetic, most respectful, and non-threatening manner. In your discussion, stress that your intent is to understand and respect his or her wishes while still ensuring safety and a quality of life for the future. Then, together explore options with professionals that advocate and specialize in senior care, such as senior placement services, financial planner, elder law attorney, realtor, physicians, insurance, etc.